It's been a while since I updated on my progress with Insanity. When we last left off, I was going into the eye of the storm. I had a week of a workout called Core Cardio and Balance. I really like that workout. In the beginning it focuses more on the cardio aspect, and then it finishes off with two killer exercises that will leave a burning in your hips and shoulders you didn't think was possible without an actual flame. After the first month it is a welcome recovery week. I liked it. My wife, who did the workout with me a few times actually said, "They should start Insanity out with this!" I don't think that would be a bad idea, however, Shaun T seems to be a fan of throwing people into the deep end to see if they sink or swim. Overall though, I was really happy with my progress and how smoothly recovery week went.
Then month two officially started. The workouts consist of Max Cardio Conditioning, Max Interval Circuit, Max Interval Plyo, Max Recovery, Cardio Abs and Core Cardio and Balance. If month one was throwing you into the deep end to see if you could sink or swim, month two is tying your hands and legs together and attaching 50 lb weights to your ankles, spinning you around and throwing you in the middle of the ocean. Drugs are also probably involved. I shit you not, I would stand there, staring at the TV saying "How the fuck are you even doing that?" Also, I swore enough month two week one to make a sailor blush. I actually was overwhelmed the first day when I had to do the fit test and then the Max Interval Circuit workout in the same day. I ended up pushing everything back so I could get all my workouts in. Which, I will take this opportunity to say, is something you may have to do, but if you are serious about wanting results and to get into shape and get healthy, is something you will do. One of the biggest challenges of Insanity has been making it a priority, because believe me, there are many things I'd rather be doing than sweating all over our living room, swearing at the TV and pushing myself to exhaustion. However, I make it work, and as you see results and progress, it makes it worth it.
Another lesson I learned so far this month, the value of eating right. I've been good watching how many calories I put into my body thanks to an app on my android, MyFitnessPal. However, just watching your calories is only one part of fueling your body. Even eating smaller portions, unhealthy crap food is still, unhealthy crap food. I had more bar food and junk than I have in a while, thinking to myself, "Calories are calories, I need to have some energy to burn off when I workout." However, when it came time to working out, I really didn't want to. I didn't have that excitement or energy ready to be released during the workout. Frantically I searched for excuses not to work out. Fortunately I had the willpower to workout, I know though that those workouts weren't everything they could have been. It wasn't until the Sunday of that first week (normally an off day but as I mentioned earlier I had to push things back to make sure I did everything), when I ate good food all day and then worked out that I noticed the difference. I felt great after the workout, felt like I could do a second workout and felt like I really kicked ass. (I wonder how many more times I could say felt? Probably a lot, I feel it in me bones that I can do it, however, I'll be good and not do it. And you know what, making that decision felt good.) So yeah, if you really want to fuel your body, be ready to workout and see progress, fruits and vegetables are your friend. Bar food is not. Though it does taste delicious from time to time.
Well, that's all for today. I have two more weeks until I can call myself an Insanity graduate. When I finish those weeks I will give the final report card on my progress, showing the progress I've made on the fit test, number of pounds lost, the number of asses I feel like I can adequately kick before I get completely, and of course, my final judgement on Insanity. Stay tuned. Or don't. Just kidding, definitely stay tuned!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Product Judgement: Cards Against Humanity
Bored on a Saturday night? Or a Monday night? Or any other night of the week?
Well that's your problem. I'd love to help but I'm too busy playing my newest game, Cards Against Humanity. As the box says, it's a "Party Game for Horrible People." That was what really sold it for me, because so rarely do I see a game that is specifically targeted towards horrible people like me. The biggest question wasn't whether to buy it or not, but is it really horrible enough for me?
Before I share if it is horrible enough for me, let me explain how to play. Have you ever played Apples to Apples? HAHAHAHAHA, I know, I'm hilarious. Everyone and their mother has played Apples to Apples. And if you haven't, well, thanks for ruining that little joke for me you big jerk face. Are you proud of yourself?
I digress. Cards Against Humanity is played exactly like Apples to Apples. Each player is dealt out 10 cards to start, and then a person is chosen at random to go first and are given the title Card Czar. The Card Czar then picks a card from the specified black pile (some cards are white, some cards are black, reads it aloud, and the rest of the players choose a card from their hand they feel best answers/fills in the blank of the card chosen. Then, the Card Czar (I may use that title as often as possible, I like it, so deal with my repetition) chooses which card he/she thinks is best based on whatever criteria they feel is best. They give the player they think played the best white card the black card and the title of Card Czar moves to the right and play continues. Play continues until the deck of black cards is exhausted or a pre-determined number of black cards is achieved by a player or until everyone gets sick of playing, though that last option likely won't happen anytime soon.
Now, the important question, is the game horrible enough for me? Let me give you an example of some cards:
Black Card: During sex, I like to think about ___________. White Cards: Sarah Palin, Homeless People, Goblins, Shooting a rifle into the air while going balls deep in a hog
Black Card: The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____________? White Cards: A Big Black Dick, Rush Limbaugh's soft shitty body, a plunger to the face, a bigger blacker Dick.
Excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye. I'm just so happy. These truly are awful cards for an awful person like me. And what's best, I chose some of the more appropriate cards! God Bless this screwed up country of ours. This game is amazing. You will laugh, you will cry (mainly from laughing) and you will see just how messed up your friends can be. It is a wonderful time, and if you aren't at least interested in playing this game once, you are wrong.
Judgement: This game is amazing and you should buy it, along with the two expansion packs for a wonderful time. Nothing brings people together like inappropriate response to inappropriate questions that help reveal how screwed up you and all of your friends are. Buy this game or bow your head in shame.
Well that's your problem. I'd love to help but I'm too busy playing my newest game, Cards Against Humanity. As the box says, it's a "Party Game for Horrible People." That was what really sold it for me, because so rarely do I see a game that is specifically targeted towards horrible people like me. The biggest question wasn't whether to buy it or not, but is it really horrible enough for me?
Before I share if it is horrible enough for me, let me explain how to play. Have you ever played Apples to Apples? HAHAHAHAHA, I know, I'm hilarious. Everyone and their mother has played Apples to Apples. And if you haven't, well, thanks for ruining that little joke for me you big jerk face. Are you proud of yourself?
I digress. Cards Against Humanity is played exactly like Apples to Apples. Each player is dealt out 10 cards to start, and then a person is chosen at random to go first and are given the title Card Czar. The Card Czar then picks a card from the specified black pile (some cards are white, some cards are black, reads it aloud, and the rest of the players choose a card from their hand they feel best answers/fills in the blank of the card chosen. Then, the Card Czar (I may use that title as often as possible, I like it, so deal with my repetition) chooses which card he/she thinks is best based on whatever criteria they feel is best. They give the player they think played the best white card the black card and the title of Card Czar moves to the right and play continues. Play continues until the deck of black cards is exhausted or a pre-determined number of black cards is achieved by a player or until everyone gets sick of playing, though that last option likely won't happen anytime soon.
Now, the important question, is the game horrible enough for me? Let me give you an example of some cards:
Black Card: During sex, I like to think about ___________. White Cards: Sarah Palin, Homeless People, Goblins, Shooting a rifle into the air while going balls deep in a hog
Black Card: The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____________? White Cards: A Big Black Dick, Rush Limbaugh's soft shitty body, a plunger to the face, a bigger blacker Dick.
Excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye. I'm just so happy. These truly are awful cards for an awful person like me. And what's best, I chose some of the more appropriate cards! God Bless this screwed up country of ours. This game is amazing. You will laugh, you will cry (mainly from laughing) and you will see just how messed up your friends can be. It is a wonderful time, and if you aren't at least interested in playing this game once, you are wrong.
Judgement: This game is amazing and you should buy it, along with the two expansion packs for a wonderful time. Nothing brings people together like inappropriate response to inappropriate questions that help reveal how screwed up you and all of your friends are. Buy this game or bow your head in shame.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Product Judgement: Insanity Part 3
So as I sit here, cooling off and eating almonds like a boss after my Insanity workout, I realize I just completed the last workout of month one. Seemed like a good time to do a one month summary.
There have been no new workouts since my last post. I rotate between Plyometric Cardio Circuit, Pure Cardio & Cardio Abs, Cardio Recovery and Cardio Power & Resistance. I have noticed a considerable difference in my ability to get through the workouts. I still take a lot of breaks and drink a crap ton of water. I honestly drink my recommended daily amount of water in the course of an hour and a half thanks to Insanity. Incidentally, I also sweat most of that out on our living room floor each workout. Then when I'm done, I wring my shirt and watch the sweat come pouring out. (Sexy right? I know! But sorry ladies, I'm taken.) The biggest challenge has honestly been my motivation. Despite seeing that I've lost almost 10 lbs, now having to wear a belt with all of my pants and the improvements in just my ability to keep up with the workouts, I've gotten a tad bit bored. Having done part of P90X before, I'm used to having quite a variety of workouts. That is part of what makes completing month one so exciting to me. Insanity is going to transform and introduce me to a few new workouts now.
Looking forward on the workout calendar they provide so that I know what workouts to do and when, I see I have a recovery week next week. I do a workout called Core Cardio and Balance for a week and generally let my body recover from the craziness it has been subjected to. A good way to look at it is I will be in the eye of the storm. It will be calm and quiet, and then month two starts. Just peaking at month two, I see that each workout is entitled "Max" something or other. Max? Max? WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING IF IT'S NOT MAX? Just thinking about it, while I am excited about the new workouts and the challenge, I'm also scared. Scared of just how insane this is all going to be and also scared that I may snap and hunt down Shaun T. and cut him. I really don't want to do that, but a guy has gotta do what a guy has gotta do.
Well that's all I have for now, expect an update in a few weeks, where I'll share my sweat and likely tears (if I have enough water left over for tears) with all of you. I may also request you, my loyal readers, to help provide me with an alibi. Keep it real folks!
There have been no new workouts since my last post. I rotate between Plyometric Cardio Circuit, Pure Cardio & Cardio Abs, Cardio Recovery and Cardio Power & Resistance. I have noticed a considerable difference in my ability to get through the workouts. I still take a lot of breaks and drink a crap ton of water. I honestly drink my recommended daily amount of water in the course of an hour and a half thanks to Insanity. Incidentally, I also sweat most of that out on our living room floor each workout. Then when I'm done, I wring my shirt and watch the sweat come pouring out. (Sexy right? I know! But sorry ladies, I'm taken.) The biggest challenge has honestly been my motivation. Despite seeing that I've lost almost 10 lbs, now having to wear a belt with all of my pants and the improvements in just my ability to keep up with the workouts, I've gotten a tad bit bored. Having done part of P90X before, I'm used to having quite a variety of workouts. That is part of what makes completing month one so exciting to me. Insanity is going to transform and introduce me to a few new workouts now.
Looking forward on the workout calendar they provide so that I know what workouts to do and when, I see I have a recovery week next week. I do a workout called Core Cardio and Balance for a week and generally let my body recover from the craziness it has been subjected to. A good way to look at it is I will be in the eye of the storm. It will be calm and quiet, and then month two starts. Just peaking at month two, I see that each workout is entitled "Max" something or other. Max? Max? WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING IF IT'S NOT MAX? Just thinking about it, while I am excited about the new workouts and the challenge, I'm also scared. Scared of just how insane this is all going to be and also scared that I may snap and hunt down Shaun T. and cut him. I really don't want to do that, but a guy has gotta do what a guy has gotta do.
Well that's all I have for now, expect an update in a few weeks, where I'll share my sweat and likely tears (if I have enough water left over for tears) with all of you. I may also request you, my loyal readers, to help provide me with an alibi. Keep it real folks!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Product Judgement: Insanity Review Part 2
Howdy folks!
I know it's been a while since I've updated this. There are two main reasons for that: One is I don't have an actual computer at home and lest I want to do this blog small time and update via my phone, it won't happen unless I have free time at a real computer. Secondly, I got sidelined by an injury. I did the first three days of week one, my schedule got really hectic and crazy, and then when I started back up the next week I found I had a rather nasty shin splint that made doing even the warm-up near impossible. As in addition to being Catholic, I also worship both Greek and Norse Gods, I called up my homie Zeus and asked him what he thought about my shin split and he assured me that if Hercules had the same injury, well, let's just say his twelve feats would have ended much more quickly and less positively. Don't worry though folks, I am alive and well and shin splint free now. I still have the occasional flare up of pain in my shin, but I just punch it in the head in the form of ice packs and all is well. Seriously, stop crying for me. I mean it. Now you are just embarrasing yourself. Geez. You are all a bunch of cry babies. WHY DO I LET YOU READ MY AWESOMENESS IF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS CRY?
Well, now that I've bothered you by calling you names and with my sob story of shin splints that would have made Achilles slice his own tendon to distract from the pain, on to the review!
I am officially on week three. I re-started week one as I wanted to do the program as close to what was directed as possible. In the first two weeks I have logged enough air time via all the plyometric jumping moves that I am considering contacting airline companies to see if I can get some frequent flyer miles. The workouts I've done thus far include: Plyometric Cardio Circuit, Cardio Power and Resistance, Cardio Recovery, Pure Cardio, Cardio Abs, and the Fit Test which I explained in my previous post. The warm-up for the fit test, which I thought was difficult, was actually just 1/3 of a regular warm-up I do. The eight moves that I had to do in the fit test are regular exercises I do in these routines and I have covered the floor in my apartment in a pleasant smelling layer of sweat more times than I can count. Because I don't want to get bogged down in the details of each individual exercise in each of those videos, I'll give general overviews. If I find out people are interested and/or I get motivated enough to, I'll go into more detail at some point. For now though you will read the overviews and you will like it!
Plyometric Cardio Circuit: You jump a lot in this DVD. Also, you find out Shaun T. is a dirty pirate hooker and lies a lot and leads you to believe it's just one more set or one more exercise. Towards the end you do punching drills and I regularly imagine that I am punching Shaun T in the face.
Cardio Power and Resistance: You do a lot of jumping in this DVD as well. However, you also do various forms of push-ups to work your upper body so it is as sore and hates you as much as your legs do. Shaun T. is still a dick.
Cardio Recovery: This is a day of no jumping, you do various stretches reminiscent of Yoga. I tend to sweat a lot because my body enjoys me being gross, but after watching my fellow Insanity do-ers in the video, I see it makes them work-up a pretty good sweat as well in the video. So while it is definitely a recovery from the other days, you will still work.
Pure Cardio: This was the day I decided Shaun T. is a sadist. You do the warm-up, get a water break, cause you know, you normally need a water break after a warm-up, then do some stretches to loosen your body up, have another water break, then you do a series of 15 exercises for a minute each with no scheduled water break. That probably doesn't sound too bad to you, which is fine, that's your opinion. I encourage you to remember that opinion as you come over and do this workout. Then tell me you still believe that. Also, as punishment for you insolence, you will not be allowed to swear at Shaun T. like I do nor will you be allowed to drink by Brita Filtered water. You get Milwaukee Tap water and you will like it. The saving grace of this workout is you do see the people in the video taking breaks, being told to go get water and at the end even Shaun T. lays on the ground in utter exhaustion just before a prompt on the screen tells you to never stop moving. Stupid prompts.
Cardio Abs: Much to my surprise, this video worked my abs. I expected it to work my deltoids and/or little toe. Weird that it works my abs instead. On it's own, it would be a workout but not insane. You work your core, especially your obliques. However, this is done at the end of another workout and when tacked onto the end of Pure Cardio, it's clear the devil is involved in this.
Yesterday, the start of week three, I did another Fit Test. I am happy to report that in 7/8 exercises I did better than my original test. The other exercise I matched, which is all I was hoping for as it's an exercise that involves four jumps but you can only count that as one. (Reminder Shaun T. is a dirty pirate hooker who lies a lot) So I have seen progress and combined with healthy eating, I have seen improvements pretty much all across the board, my cardio level, my weight, my energy and my confidence. Confidence sounds weird, but trust me, you do these work outs and you start to develop a little swagger and confidence that you can handle whatever the world throws at you.
Well that's all for now. I'm going to keep at this workout and I will continue to let you know how it goes. Until next time, remember, I'm clearly awesome and so everything I say is worth reading and listening to.
I know it's been a while since I've updated this. There are two main reasons for that: One is I don't have an actual computer at home and lest I want to do this blog small time and update via my phone, it won't happen unless I have free time at a real computer. Secondly, I got sidelined by an injury. I did the first three days of week one, my schedule got really hectic and crazy, and then when I started back up the next week I found I had a rather nasty shin splint that made doing even the warm-up near impossible. As in addition to being Catholic, I also worship both Greek and Norse Gods, I called up my homie Zeus and asked him what he thought about my shin split and he assured me that if Hercules had the same injury, well, let's just say his twelve feats would have ended much more quickly and less positively. Don't worry though folks, I am alive and well and shin splint free now. I still have the occasional flare up of pain in my shin, but I just punch it in the head in the form of ice packs and all is well. Seriously, stop crying for me. I mean it. Now you are just embarrasing yourself. Geez. You are all a bunch of cry babies. WHY DO I LET YOU READ MY AWESOMENESS IF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS CRY?
Well, now that I've bothered you by calling you names and with my sob story of shin splints that would have made Achilles slice his own tendon to distract from the pain, on to the review!
I am officially on week three. I re-started week one as I wanted to do the program as close to what was directed as possible. In the first two weeks I have logged enough air time via all the plyometric jumping moves that I am considering contacting airline companies to see if I can get some frequent flyer miles. The workouts I've done thus far include: Plyometric Cardio Circuit, Cardio Power and Resistance, Cardio Recovery, Pure Cardio, Cardio Abs, and the Fit Test which I explained in my previous post. The warm-up for the fit test, which I thought was difficult, was actually just 1/3 of a regular warm-up I do. The eight moves that I had to do in the fit test are regular exercises I do in these routines and I have covered the floor in my apartment in a pleasant smelling layer of sweat more times than I can count. Because I don't want to get bogged down in the details of each individual exercise in each of those videos, I'll give general overviews. If I find out people are interested and/or I get motivated enough to, I'll go into more detail at some point. For now though you will read the overviews and you will like it!
Plyometric Cardio Circuit: You jump a lot in this DVD. Also, you find out Shaun T. is a dirty pirate hooker and lies a lot and leads you to believe it's just one more set or one more exercise. Towards the end you do punching drills and I regularly imagine that I am punching Shaun T in the face.
Cardio Power and Resistance: You do a lot of jumping in this DVD as well. However, you also do various forms of push-ups to work your upper body so it is as sore and hates you as much as your legs do. Shaun T. is still a dick.
Cardio Recovery: This is a day of no jumping, you do various stretches reminiscent of Yoga. I tend to sweat a lot because my body enjoys me being gross, but after watching my fellow Insanity do-ers in the video, I see it makes them work-up a pretty good sweat as well in the video. So while it is definitely a recovery from the other days, you will still work.
Pure Cardio: This was the day I decided Shaun T. is a sadist. You do the warm-up, get a water break, cause you know, you normally need a water break after a warm-up, then do some stretches to loosen your body up, have another water break, then you do a series of 15 exercises for a minute each with no scheduled water break. That probably doesn't sound too bad to you, which is fine, that's your opinion. I encourage you to remember that opinion as you come over and do this workout. Then tell me you still believe that. Also, as punishment for you insolence, you will not be allowed to swear at Shaun T. like I do nor will you be allowed to drink by Brita Filtered water. You get Milwaukee Tap water and you will like it. The saving grace of this workout is you do see the people in the video taking breaks, being told to go get water and at the end even Shaun T. lays on the ground in utter exhaustion just before a prompt on the screen tells you to never stop moving. Stupid prompts.
Cardio Abs: Much to my surprise, this video worked my abs. I expected it to work my deltoids and/or little toe. Weird that it works my abs instead. On it's own, it would be a workout but not insane. You work your core, especially your obliques. However, this is done at the end of another workout and when tacked onto the end of Pure Cardio, it's clear the devil is involved in this.
Yesterday, the start of week three, I did another Fit Test. I am happy to report that in 7/8 exercises I did better than my original test. The other exercise I matched, which is all I was hoping for as it's an exercise that involves four jumps but you can only count that as one. (Reminder Shaun T. is a dirty pirate hooker who lies a lot) So I have seen progress and combined with healthy eating, I have seen improvements pretty much all across the board, my cardio level, my weight, my energy and my confidence. Confidence sounds weird, but trust me, you do these work outs and you start to develop a little swagger and confidence that you can handle whatever the world throws at you.
Well that's all for now. I'm going to keep at this workout and I will continue to let you know how it goes. Until next time, remember, I'm clearly awesome and so everything I say is worth reading and listening to.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Product Judgement: Insanity Workout Program
Ahoy readers. Or reader. Or empty space of the interwebs that this blog is filling. Or perhaps just ahoy futuer Alex re-reading this post. Whoever.
That was a shitty intro. Oh well, It's done. There is no possible way I could go back and delete that and type something better in. I can't. It has been written in stone. Sad, but true. And now, I must move on to bigger and better things! Those bigger and better things would be the first installment of my product judgement of the Insanity workout program! I decided I really needed to start getting into shape. My parents died at an early age due to poor health. I do not want to do that to my kids, and so I have chosen to make changes to get myself healthy.
A preface before I get into what day one of the program was like: This is an intense workout series. It's not called Insanity because it's insane how easy it is. That is the name given to it because you have to have a few screws loose to do this program and to stick with it. This program is designed to be for 60 days (though in the end with rest days you end up doing for a little more than two months) and to get you in the best shape of your life. If that sounds familiar, it's because it is not unlike P90X. I did a month and a half of P90X but due to living in an apartment with no room and no money to invest in the weights needed to do that program, I was unable to fully take advantage of it. I did notice marked improvement though in my overall shape, so it was nice. As I said though, without a full set of weights (dumbbells and a pull-up bar are what you need) I couldn't really take full advantage of the program. That's what is so nice about Insanity; no weights required. All the exercises require only your body weight and a dogged determination and motivation to stick with it. There is one more thing that if you have it, will be useful, but I'll get into that as I talk about day 1. The program is designed to train you using "Max Interval Training" which consists of bursts of high intensity exercise followed by a rest period. The max in Insanity refers to it being 3 minutes of high intensity followed by 30 seconds to 1 minute of rest. (By contrast, traditional interval training will have you do 30 seconds of intense exercises followed by a minute or two of rest). Because I don't want to go into too many technical details here, please trust me when I saw interval training is a great way to get into shape and is no joke. It will help your heart work more efficiently, super charge your metabolism with a hemi engine and a few hundred horsepower and will make you a more explosive athlete (if you play an actual sport vs fantasy football like myself). If you are interested in learning more about interval training, please feel free to click here and read to your heart's content about it: http://www.medicinenet.com/interval_training/article.htm
Day 1:
Fit test. I did a fitness test that consisted of 8 exercises done for a minute each. Between exercises were a brief rest to record your number of reps and to drink water. Oh, and wipe the sweat off your face. There was a lot of it. Before you begin the test, the DVD goes through a short warm-up consisting of jogging in place, jumping jacks, the heisman, the heisman with two steps, butt kicks, high knees and the mummy run. As an added challenge to make the warm-up more effective I included swearing at Shaun T. the trainer in the DVD. After the warm-up, you go through some stretches then into the fit test.
The fit test itself, as I mentioned earlier, consists of 8 exercises. The first half will work your legs like no other, as many involve jumps. Towards the end it works your upperbody as well with variations of the push-up. Also, every exercise will engage your abs pretty intensely too. After the first couple of exercises, I realized that in addition to your body weight and dogged determination it is nice to have patience and an ability to not try to kill Shaun T. and the two people in this video with him. Of course, All three are all healthy super fit people with a combined 24 pack of abs. The number of reps they were able to achieve on some exercises made me seriously want to go Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick the TV. I did though, to the appreciation of my wife, resist that urge. Instead, I just continued with a healthy dose of swearing and flipping the bird. What was nice was they made it clear that resting was OK. I could not keep up with them, though I desperately wanted to, I knew I could rest, and as the test went on, I noticed the exercisers themselves in the video resting. This helped me feel at ease and not like a wuss and kept me positive and motivated to move on to the next exercise. And though I actually only spent 8 minutes doing the exercises, it felt like an eternity with all the work it put me through. Here is a list of what I felt was worked during this little fit test: EVERYTHING. Knowing that was just a fitness test, and not the workout, I'm both excited and terrified of what day 2 and beyond will bring. However, one thing I am sure of, if this program is designed to make be able to do well on the fitness test then it is going to be one helluva workout program and I'm going to be in some pretty awesome shape when I'm done. I'll probably take to hunting wolves with my nothing but my bare hands as that's now legal in Wisconsin.
Well, I think that's a good summary of day 1. Check back here, I won't necessarily update everyday, but I will do my best to keep you aprised of the workouts, what they are like, their intensity, what challenges I faced and what progress I am making. At the end of it all, I will declare and official product judgement. How my rating system will work, I'm not completely sure. I'm hoping to figure that out sooner rather than later.
See ya!
That was a shitty intro. Oh well, It's done. There is no possible way I could go back and delete that and type something better in. I can't. It has been written in stone. Sad, but true. And now, I must move on to bigger and better things! Those bigger and better things would be the first installment of my product judgement of the Insanity workout program! I decided I really needed to start getting into shape. My parents died at an early age due to poor health. I do not want to do that to my kids, and so I have chosen to make changes to get myself healthy.
A preface before I get into what day one of the program was like: This is an intense workout series. It's not called Insanity because it's insane how easy it is. That is the name given to it because you have to have a few screws loose to do this program and to stick with it. This program is designed to be for 60 days (though in the end with rest days you end up doing for a little more than two months) and to get you in the best shape of your life. If that sounds familiar, it's because it is not unlike P90X. I did a month and a half of P90X but due to living in an apartment with no room and no money to invest in the weights needed to do that program, I was unable to fully take advantage of it. I did notice marked improvement though in my overall shape, so it was nice. As I said though, without a full set of weights (dumbbells and a pull-up bar are what you need) I couldn't really take full advantage of the program. That's what is so nice about Insanity; no weights required. All the exercises require only your body weight and a dogged determination and motivation to stick with it. There is one more thing that if you have it, will be useful, but I'll get into that as I talk about day 1. The program is designed to train you using "Max Interval Training" which consists of bursts of high intensity exercise followed by a rest period. The max in Insanity refers to it being 3 minutes of high intensity followed by 30 seconds to 1 minute of rest. (By contrast, traditional interval training will have you do 30 seconds of intense exercises followed by a minute or two of rest). Because I don't want to go into too many technical details here, please trust me when I saw interval training is a great way to get into shape and is no joke. It will help your heart work more efficiently, super charge your metabolism with a hemi engine and a few hundred horsepower and will make you a more explosive athlete (if you play an actual sport vs fantasy football like myself). If you are interested in learning more about interval training, please feel free to click here and read to your heart's content about it: http://www.medicinenet.com/interval_training/article.htm
Day 1:
Fit test. I did a fitness test that consisted of 8 exercises done for a minute each. Between exercises were a brief rest to record your number of reps and to drink water. Oh, and wipe the sweat off your face. There was a lot of it. Before you begin the test, the DVD goes through a short warm-up consisting of jogging in place, jumping jacks, the heisman, the heisman with two steps, butt kicks, high knees and the mummy run. As an added challenge to make the warm-up more effective I included swearing at Shaun T. the trainer in the DVD. After the warm-up, you go through some stretches then into the fit test.
The fit test itself, as I mentioned earlier, consists of 8 exercises. The first half will work your legs like no other, as many involve jumps. Towards the end it works your upperbody as well with variations of the push-up. Also, every exercise will engage your abs pretty intensely too. After the first couple of exercises, I realized that in addition to your body weight and dogged determination it is nice to have patience and an ability to not try to kill Shaun T. and the two people in this video with him. Of course, All three are all healthy super fit people with a combined 24 pack of abs. The number of reps they were able to achieve on some exercises made me seriously want to go Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick the TV. I did though, to the appreciation of my wife, resist that urge. Instead, I just continued with a healthy dose of swearing and flipping the bird. What was nice was they made it clear that resting was OK. I could not keep up with them, though I desperately wanted to, I knew I could rest, and as the test went on, I noticed the exercisers themselves in the video resting. This helped me feel at ease and not like a wuss and kept me positive and motivated to move on to the next exercise. And though I actually only spent 8 minutes doing the exercises, it felt like an eternity with all the work it put me through. Here is a list of what I felt was worked during this little fit test: EVERYTHING. Knowing that was just a fitness test, and not the workout, I'm both excited and terrified of what day 2 and beyond will bring. However, one thing I am sure of, if this program is designed to make be able to do well on the fitness test then it is going to be one helluva workout program and I'm going to be in some pretty awesome shape when I'm done. I'll probably take to hunting wolves with my nothing but my bare hands as that's now legal in Wisconsin.
Well, I think that's a good summary of day 1. Check back here, I won't necessarily update everyday, but I will do my best to keep you aprised of the workouts, what they are like, their intensity, what challenges I faced and what progress I am making. At the end of it all, I will declare and official product judgement. How my rating system will work, I'm not completely sure. I'm hoping to figure that out sooner rather than later.
See ya!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Things adults should know how to do but apparently don't
When I was a child, I assumed there would be a certain point where I would become a "grown-up," have my shit together and know how to do everything. It has come to my attention that I am, in fact, now a grown-up. This is a terrifying thing to me because 1) I still laugh at farts and 2) I have become painfully aware that many "grown-ups" don't know basic skills. I want to cover three such skills that annoy me particularly and each time I encounter one of them I become one step closer to stabbing myself in the brain to help me cope.
Flush a Toilet:
Seriously. It's happened multiple times in the past month. I walk into the restroom and it smells horrible. I assume "Oh, someone must have taken a crap. Oh well, it's the bathroom, it happens." only to walk by a stall and see the toilet bowl is filled with shit. And it's never just a straggler who hung out after the first flush. No, it's the kind of shit a drunken bear would take after eating Taco Bell at 3 in the morning. I really hope it's just one person with a horrible bowel problem doing this, but it happens so often in different bathrooms I have to believe there might be multiple poop-etrators.
Also, and I may very well be wrong because it's not like I do an in-depth investigation of these crime scenes, but I never see any toilet paper in the toilet bowl. If there really isn't, that means whoever is doing this is just running off after their done without wiping their ass. God help their house, because the skid marks on their underwear must be something awful. And don't you dare tell me they might be too busy to wipe their ass. You are never too busy to wipe after that type of crap-fest. My newborn baby child could be being eaten by an alligator and I would still take the time to wipe after a crap like that. That shit is gross, and you are adults, take the time to wipe up. The only potential positive is these are probably the same people who don't wash their hands. If they don't wipe up afterwards, there is less chance they have remnants of their bear shit on their hands when they touch you (and they will touch you, these people always are the ones who touch you). So I guess there is that.
What makes this especially bad is it's not like toilets are different depending where you go. It's pretty simple. You push the damn lever down. Maybe it's a button, concept is the same. Push down on the thing that goes down when you push it. You don't need to know calculus to flush a toilet. Hell, you don't even need to read; looking for the thing that says "push here." No, you just have to look for the one thing that you can push down and push it down and voila, no more poopy.
If I'm ever in the bathroom when someone takes a crap like that and find them walking out without first flushing I swear I'm going to make them headbutt the lever of the toilet until the toilet flushes. It's gross people.
Use an elevator
I'm serious. People apparently don't understand basic elevator skills. I could talk about those people on the elevator who assume whenever the elevator doors open it's their floor and they walk off, only to have to turn around and get back on. But no, it's not those people I am talking about. It's the people who get so excited the elevators door are about to open they start sprinting full speed at the damn doors. My personal favorite is when they do this without ever looking up. THEN, when they run into me, or just about, they give me some sort of evil stare like I am doing something wrong by being there.
Why are you running for the elevator doors? Do you assume you have 1.5 seconds to get through those doors or else they are going to close with such force they will cut you like a hot knife through butter? I work in a hospital for chrissake. People regularly come out of elevators with wheel chairs or gurnees. Clearly the elevator doors are going to stay open long enough for those people to get through, so you, a person mobile enough to run can get through. Even if they do happen to close, guess what? That button you pressed to get the elevator to come and open up that first time? Yup, it's still there. Just press it again and the doors will magically open back up for you. If you are in that much of a hurry to get some place, take the stairs. Hell, I am becoming more convinced by the day that if it's not on the first floor of the building you're in, it's probably not that important anyway. You are going to hurt someone all because you're an idiot and don't realize that you can afford to wait 2 seconds to see if someone else coming out of the elevator. Though, people coming out of the elevator are equally as retarded if I am to be honest. I swear, some of them must be standing there, their nose to the door ready to take off as soon as they can fit through the doors.
I'm seriously considering purchasing some pepper spray and next time this happens just spraying the person who is running into/out of the elevators in the face. I won't even feel bad watching them suffering. Really, I'm being kind, cause I could be some crazed lunatic with a knife stabbing wildly in front of me. What would you rather have happen to you? Get sprayed by someone who is on the verge of snapping or get stabbed by someone who snapped long ago?
Park
I could deal with shitty drivers on the road I think, if I knew that once I got to my destination that people would know how to park. Alas, apparently this is too idealistic and people do not know how to park. It's two lines people. How hard is it to get your car between two lines. For all you NFL fans out there, I do understand on the line is considered "in", but this is not football, this is PARKING. I really do not get it. What's worse is I see guys with kids in their car doing this. They clearly have trouble getting their car in the right spot, I'm surprised they were able to get other things in the right spot it in other aspects of their life.
Not only do they not know how to park though, but boy do they ever freak out if someone hits their car. Well, I'm sorry dipshit, you parked too close. I'm going to hit your car, especially if my car is older and/or in worse shape than your car. And I won't feel bad. In fact, it will make my day better doing it. You are a moron and deserve everything bad that happens to your car when you park like an idiot.
The only redeeming factor is in certain situations, you are able to park in such a way that they cannot get in their drivers side door. I personally suggest for any reader out there who shares this frustration with me, do just this. Park them in and make it so it is impossible for them to get in the drivers side door. If you park really close, and get out and think to yourself "Hmm...maybe they could still get in" get back into your car and repark closer to them. If you're really lucky, someone will do the same thing on the other side and make it impossible for them to get in or out of their car. For maximum effect wait for them to come to their car and watch their reaction. You also absolutely should not feel bad for doing this. They have it coming to them, because as we have all (should) have been taught by the golden rule, "When you park badly, people are going to do everything in their power to make your day and life in general miserable because you are a bad person and I hope you get diarrhea."
In conclusion, grown-ups are surprisingly dumb and many have a lack of basic skills that should be essential. May God help us all.
Author's Note: After repeating that golden rule to someone, they informed me they in fact heard a very different form of the golden rule and suggested that I was making it up. When I told them they're made up, they suggested I seek help. I then explained to this person that my family's silver rule is "If someone tries to correct you, poop in their shoes." This person left me alone after that.
Flush a Toilet:
Seriously. It's happened multiple times in the past month. I walk into the restroom and it smells horrible. I assume "Oh, someone must have taken a crap. Oh well, it's the bathroom, it happens." only to walk by a stall and see the toilet bowl is filled with shit. And it's never just a straggler who hung out after the first flush. No, it's the kind of shit a drunken bear would take after eating Taco Bell at 3 in the morning. I really hope it's just one person with a horrible bowel problem doing this, but it happens so often in different bathrooms I have to believe there might be multiple poop-etrators.
Also, and I may very well be wrong because it's not like I do an in-depth investigation of these crime scenes, but I never see any toilet paper in the toilet bowl. If there really isn't, that means whoever is doing this is just running off after their done without wiping their ass. God help their house, because the skid marks on their underwear must be something awful. And don't you dare tell me they might be too busy to wipe their ass. You are never too busy to wipe after that type of crap-fest. My newborn baby child could be being eaten by an alligator and I would still take the time to wipe after a crap like that. That shit is gross, and you are adults, take the time to wipe up. The only potential positive is these are probably the same people who don't wash their hands. If they don't wipe up afterwards, there is less chance they have remnants of their bear shit on their hands when they touch you (and they will touch you, these people always are the ones who touch you). So I guess there is that.
What makes this especially bad is it's not like toilets are different depending where you go. It's pretty simple. You push the damn lever down. Maybe it's a button, concept is the same. Push down on the thing that goes down when you push it. You don't need to know calculus to flush a toilet. Hell, you don't even need to read; looking for the thing that says "push here." No, you just have to look for the one thing that you can push down and push it down and voila, no more poopy.
If I'm ever in the bathroom when someone takes a crap like that and find them walking out without first flushing I swear I'm going to make them headbutt the lever of the toilet until the toilet flushes. It's gross people.
Use an elevator
I'm serious. People apparently don't understand basic elevator skills. I could talk about those people on the elevator who assume whenever the elevator doors open it's their floor and they walk off, only to have to turn around and get back on. But no, it's not those people I am talking about. It's the people who get so excited the elevators door are about to open they start sprinting full speed at the damn doors. My personal favorite is when they do this without ever looking up. THEN, when they run into me, or just about, they give me some sort of evil stare like I am doing something wrong by being there.
Why are you running for the elevator doors? Do you assume you have 1.5 seconds to get through those doors or else they are going to close with such force they will cut you like a hot knife through butter? I work in a hospital for chrissake. People regularly come out of elevators with wheel chairs or gurnees. Clearly the elevator doors are going to stay open long enough for those people to get through, so you, a person mobile enough to run can get through. Even if they do happen to close, guess what? That button you pressed to get the elevator to come and open up that first time? Yup, it's still there. Just press it again and the doors will magically open back up for you. If you are in that much of a hurry to get some place, take the stairs. Hell, I am becoming more convinced by the day that if it's not on the first floor of the building you're in, it's probably not that important anyway. You are going to hurt someone all because you're an idiot and don't realize that you can afford to wait 2 seconds to see if someone else coming out of the elevator. Though, people coming out of the elevator are equally as retarded if I am to be honest. I swear, some of them must be standing there, their nose to the door ready to take off as soon as they can fit through the doors.
I'm seriously considering purchasing some pepper spray and next time this happens just spraying the person who is running into/out of the elevators in the face. I won't even feel bad watching them suffering. Really, I'm being kind, cause I could be some crazed lunatic with a knife stabbing wildly in front of me. What would you rather have happen to you? Get sprayed by someone who is on the verge of snapping or get stabbed by someone who snapped long ago?
Park
I could deal with shitty drivers on the road I think, if I knew that once I got to my destination that people would know how to park. Alas, apparently this is too idealistic and people do not know how to park. It's two lines people. How hard is it to get your car between two lines. For all you NFL fans out there, I do understand on the line is considered "in", but this is not football, this is PARKING. I really do not get it. What's worse is I see guys with kids in their car doing this. They clearly have trouble getting their car in the right spot, I'm surprised they were able to get other things in the right spot it in other aspects of their life.
Not only do they not know how to park though, but boy do they ever freak out if someone hits their car. Well, I'm sorry dipshit, you parked too close. I'm going to hit your car, especially if my car is older and/or in worse shape than your car. And I won't feel bad. In fact, it will make my day better doing it. You are a moron and deserve everything bad that happens to your car when you park like an idiot.
The only redeeming factor is in certain situations, you are able to park in such a way that they cannot get in their drivers side door. I personally suggest for any reader out there who shares this frustration with me, do just this. Park them in and make it so it is impossible for them to get in the drivers side door. If you park really close, and get out and think to yourself "Hmm...maybe they could still get in" get back into your car and repark closer to them. If you're really lucky, someone will do the same thing on the other side and make it impossible for them to get in or out of their car. For maximum effect wait for them to come to their car and watch their reaction. You also absolutely should not feel bad for doing this. They have it coming to them, because as we have all (should) have been taught by the golden rule, "When you park badly, people are going to do everything in their power to make your day and life in general miserable because you are a bad person and I hope you get diarrhea."
In conclusion, grown-ups are surprisingly dumb and many have a lack of basic skills that should be essential. May God help us all.
Author's Note: After repeating that golden rule to someone, they informed me they in fact heard a very different form of the golden rule and suggested that I was making it up. When I told them they're made up, they suggested I seek help. I then explained to this person that my family's silver rule is "If someone tries to correct you, poop in their shoes." This person left me alone after that.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Top 50 States I Think We Should Sell (part 2)
Why hello there! Fancy meeting you here. What brings you around these parts? You want to be rocked with wisdom you say? Well then, look no further. I am going to hit you with cold hard facts that are 100% irrefutable as to the top 50 States I think we should sell. Now, if you were paying close attention when you read the title of this post, you see this is part 2. Part 1 can be found here: http://butterfliesandlandmines.blogspot.com/2011/12/top-50-states-we-should-sell-part-1.html
So without further ado:
Tennessee: "Whoa whoa whoa Alex, I can get some of the states you want to sell, but come on, there are way more states that should be sold before Tennessee. What could they have possibly be done to warrant be sold 6th?" Is what you should have just said. If you didn't, please take a moment to go ahead and say it right now. Did you say it? Of course you did, because you all are my puppets and do my bidding as I see fit. DANCE PUPPETS DANCE!
I digress. We should sell Tennessee because a used cars salesman that I had the unfortunate circumstance to interact with is from Tennessee. And ladies and gentleman, I am nothing if not petty and spiteful. This turd-copter tried telling me his Kia poop-mobile doesn't depreciate in value when taken off the lot. I then informed him he is a liar. And you know what happens when you lie don't you? An angel gets diarrhea. That's right folks, the used car salesman gave an angel diarrhea. The bastard. When trying to find non-petty and spiteful reasons to sell this state, I came across these facts:
Who we should sell this state to? New Zealand. No real reason. Just feel they could use a shitty state.
Illinois: Chicago Cubs. The Bears. Do I really need to say more? Probably not but I will in this case. Look at how the state name is spelled. I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S. Notice that "s" on the end? Well if you pronounce it around anyone from that state, be prepared for one of three reactions: One - they incessantly bitch at you about mispronouncing their state name. Look, if you want your state name pronounced correctly have an easier to pronounce name dickheads. I don't care if people mispronounce city names from cities here in Wisconsin. Two - They bitch at you, but then they also give you examples of other words to try to make you feel stupid. "Do you pronounce the 'k' in the word knee? NO!" Why yes I do, stop assuming things. And if you don't leave me alone I'm going to kah-nife you in the kah-nee. Three - a stroke. This generally happens with the older people. The third reaction is usually okay with me though, because I feel you are doing a favor to the country by killing off someone from Illinois. Let's face it, they were probably a Cubs or Bears fan.
Who should we sell this state to? Antarctica. That way people would actually inhabit Antarctica because someone would rather live in that frozen waste land then Illinois. (Imagine me saying that while pronouncing the "s").
Michigan: Michigan had Detroit. Back in the day when Detroit wasn't a festering black hole of sadness and despair, that was something to brag about. Now though, having Detroit is like having a weird bump on your naughty parts. Something you don't want to tell anyone about and frankly, you should probably get looked at. Also, what's the deal with "upper" Michigan being attached to a different state? Michigan is clearly like the big kid in a day care who goes to another kid, takes their toy and says "Mine". Michigan is a big bully. And you know what we do with bullies? We are passive aggressive towards them, and then when the opportunity comes stab them 59 times, attach cement blocks to their ankles and throw them in Lake Michigan at around 3:00 in the morning. Then you drive home and start setting up an alibi for yourself. Something solid. "I was sleeping" won't cut it. Ideally you can do it the night before a big exam. Then spend as much time as you can before the killing and disposing of the body studying with people. Then take your phone with you on your task and text/chat with your classmates regarding the test. That will probably hold up. You also have to do good on the test though, that's crucial! Then, after the deed is done, you never talk about it again. Though sometimes when you go to sleep at night, you swear you can hear the sounds of bubbles as the water fills your victims lungs and the last bit of air he had escapes. You will likely never be able to go into the water again, at least not without wetting yourself. But that's okay, cause you killed Frank...err...I mean Michigan, and it was totally worth it.
Who should we sell this state to? I actually have no answer. After my extremely detailed and messed up story, plus seeing as Michigan has that weird bump on its private parts, I don't really want to impose it on anyone. Maybe put up a big sign that can be seen on it and says "Free for the taking Aliens, if you just would please stop probing us!"
Georgia: Remember earlier when I said I am petty and spiteful? Well that comes into play here too. Back in August of '08, Russia invaded the country of Georgia. Here's the thing though, I'm dumb. And so when I heard that, I thought Russia invaded the United States and entered into Georgia the state. I was both terrified and impressed with the prowess of Putin. Only he would have such vision and the balls large enough to do something like that. I went on thinking that for most of the day too. Eventually I saw the news or something and I was corrected. Fortunately for me, I didn't share this thought I had with anyone. However, I could have, and I would have looked really dumb. Well FUCK YOU Georgia for almost making me look dumber then I already am. You are a big jerk face and I want to sell you.
Who should we sell this state to? Easy, Georgia. That way, if it happens again, I'll be right no matter what I think!
Well folks, that's all for this posting. Hope you enjoy learning about the states we should sell and why! And, if you disagree with any of my rationale, please feel free to comment. I'll completely disregard it because I'm right and you are wrong, but it's a way to make yourself heard!
So without further ado:
Tennessee: "Whoa whoa whoa Alex, I can get some of the states you want to sell, but come on, there are way more states that should be sold before Tennessee. What could they have possibly be done to warrant be sold 6th?" Is what you should have just said. If you didn't, please take a moment to go ahead and say it right now. Did you say it? Of course you did, because you all are my puppets and do my bidding as I see fit. DANCE PUPPETS DANCE!
I digress. We should sell Tennessee because a used cars salesman that I had the unfortunate circumstance to interact with is from Tennessee. And ladies and gentleman, I am nothing if not petty and spiteful. This turd-copter tried telling me his Kia poop-mobile doesn't depreciate in value when taken off the lot. I then informed him he is a liar. And you know what happens when you lie don't you? An angel gets diarrhea. That's right folks, the used car salesman gave an angel diarrhea. The bastard. When trying to find non-petty and spiteful reasons to sell this state, I came across these facts:
- Cumberland University, located in Lebanon, lost a football game to Georgia Tech on October 7, 1916 by a score of 222 to 0. The Georgia Tech coach was George Heisman for whom the Heisman Trophy is named.
- Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state. (Real Law)
- Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
Who we should sell this state to? New Zealand. No real reason. Just feel they could use a shitty state.
Illinois: Chicago Cubs. The Bears. Do I really need to say more? Probably not but I will in this case. Look at how the state name is spelled. I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S. Notice that "s" on the end? Well if you pronounce it around anyone from that state, be prepared for one of three reactions: One - they incessantly bitch at you about mispronouncing their state name. Look, if you want your state name pronounced correctly have an easier to pronounce name dickheads. I don't care if people mispronounce city names from cities here in Wisconsin. Two - They bitch at you, but then they also give you examples of other words to try to make you feel stupid. "Do you pronounce the 'k' in the word knee? NO!" Why yes I do, stop assuming things. And if you don't leave me alone I'm going to kah-nife you in the kah-nee. Three - a stroke. This generally happens with the older people. The third reaction is usually okay with me though, because I feel you are doing a favor to the country by killing off someone from Illinois. Let's face it, they were probably a Cubs or Bears fan.
Who should we sell this state to? Antarctica. That way people would actually inhabit Antarctica because someone would rather live in that frozen waste land then Illinois. (Imagine me saying that while pronouncing the "s").
Michigan: Michigan had Detroit. Back in the day when Detroit wasn't a festering black hole of sadness and despair, that was something to brag about. Now though, having Detroit is like having a weird bump on your naughty parts. Something you don't want to tell anyone about and frankly, you should probably get looked at. Also, what's the deal with "upper" Michigan being attached to a different state? Michigan is clearly like the big kid in a day care who goes to another kid, takes their toy and says "Mine". Michigan is a big bully. And you know what we do with bullies? We are passive aggressive towards them, and then when the opportunity comes stab them 59 times, attach cement blocks to their ankles and throw them in Lake Michigan at around 3:00 in the morning. Then you drive home and start setting up an alibi for yourself. Something solid. "I was sleeping" won't cut it. Ideally you can do it the night before a big exam. Then spend as much time as you can before the killing and disposing of the body studying with people. Then take your phone with you on your task and text/chat with your classmates regarding the test. That will probably hold up. You also have to do good on the test though, that's crucial! Then, after the deed is done, you never talk about it again. Though sometimes when you go to sleep at night, you swear you can hear the sounds of bubbles as the water fills your victims lungs and the last bit of air he had escapes. You will likely never be able to go into the water again, at least not without wetting yourself. But that's okay, cause you killed Frank...err...I mean Michigan, and it was totally worth it.
Who should we sell this state to? I actually have no answer. After my extremely detailed and messed up story, plus seeing as Michigan has that weird bump on its private parts, I don't really want to impose it on anyone. Maybe put up a big sign that can be seen on it and says "Free for the taking Aliens, if you just would please stop probing us!"
Georgia: Remember earlier when I said I am petty and spiteful? Well that comes into play here too. Back in August of '08, Russia invaded the country of Georgia. Here's the thing though, I'm dumb. And so when I heard that, I thought Russia invaded the United States and entered into Georgia the state. I was both terrified and impressed with the prowess of Putin. Only he would have such vision and the balls large enough to do something like that. I went on thinking that for most of the day too. Eventually I saw the news or something and I was corrected. Fortunately for me, I didn't share this thought I had with anyone. However, I could have, and I would have looked really dumb. Well FUCK YOU Georgia for almost making me look dumber then I already am. You are a big jerk face and I want to sell you.
Who should we sell this state to? Easy, Georgia. That way, if it happens again, I'll be right no matter what I think!
Well folks, that's all for this posting. Hope you enjoy learning about the states we should sell and why! And, if you disagree with any of my rationale, please feel free to comment. I'll completely disregard it because I'm right and you are wrong, but it's a way to make yourself heard!
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