Hello reader!  Today I want to explain to you why jay-walking is dumb.  Before I do though, let’s clarify a few things so we are all on the same page, my page, because I’m right.
When I say jay-walking, I don’t simply mean walking across the street between two crosswalks/intersections.  The Jay-walking I’m referring to is the kind where you see a car coming and start crossing the street because the car will pass you and you can just keep walking.  THAT kind of jay walking.
Here are the reasons it’s dumb:

1. You forget people have road rage issues at times
2. You assume the driver has the same moral qualms about vehicular manslaughter as the rest of society
3. I feel you don’t quite seem to understand natural selection
4. (potentially) You might be assuming the driver isn’t racist

I’ll explain each one in a little more depth now.
Road rage is prevalent than the plague.  Don’t believe me? Look at this tweet I found on Twitter:

@ajbusch Alex Buschmann Road rage is 83% more prevalent than the bubonic plague was back in the day. #TotallyRealStatistic #DidntMakeItUP #PleaseDontVerify

You can’t just make things up on Twitter.  Plus, a hash tag said it wasn’t made up and that it is a totally real statistic.  That being the case, when people have gone into road rage, much like beserker mode, they want to find an outlet for their anger.  Letting their car swerve to the right or left a little and hitting you is a great outlet for anger.  Plus, it’s kind of their mechanics fault for making sure the front end alignment isn’t straight.  Well, the mechanics and yours for assuming the person wouldn’t serve. Morality, despite what many people may believe, isn’t exactly a universal thing.  Not all people believe the same things are right and wrong.  Take me for example.  While the State of Wisconsin seems to think that one should obey the speed limit, and should have their registration up to date, I tend to disagree.  I think my registration has been valid for maybe two years of the five I’ve had my car?  And the speed limit is 30?  Really?  Then why do you make it so easy for me to go 45?  Put curves or bumps or obstacles in the road to slow me down.  Speed limit of 30 sounds more like a challenge than anything else.  And while I’m at it, the whole license thing.  There are plenty of people who have their drivers licenses that shouldn’t be driving.  Yet there are people without their licenses who are considered “menaces” to society.  Weirdos.   You see how my view of right and wrong when it comes to traffic laws is different than society’s? 

Well someone’s view of vehicular manslaughter may be a little different than yours.  Maybe someone needs to make an offering to the Cthulu ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu ) and running you over is just the opportunity they were looking for.  Or maybe they are having a contest with their BFF to see who can accumulate the most points on their license.  I heard on the movie “The Toxic Avenger” (A true cinema classic) that a person on their bike is worth 25 if you get both them AND the bike.  Mighty fine target if you ask me!

Natural selection is where nature weeds out the inferior.  This may be through having a Lion catch the slowest gazelle, or it may happen by having someone run over for walking into traffic.  I mean yeah, you could argue that you are seeing if you are superior enough to exist but do you really want to test that?  And you are testing that.  Especially if you are one of the morons who decide to jay-walk at night in all black.  Guess what buddy, I’m probably not paying attention to the road.  I’m either jamming out to the radio, or, at this time of the year, swearing at the radio for playing Christmas music.  Both things I give 110% too, so paying attention to your dumbass creative attempts to save a little time in crossing the road isn’t high on my priority list.

Finally, potentially, you are assuming a driver isn’t racist.  Over the years, I have had the opportunity to interact with quite a few people who I would categorize as racist.  This goes both ways mind you.  Caucasians hating anyone with any amount of melanin in the skin, and people of African American or Hispanic descent hating whitey.  If you happen to be trying to jaywalk in the general vicinity of a racist asshole and you happen to be the target of their ignorant bigotry through no fault of your own, simply because of the color of your skin, well then, you might also be the target of their Buick, Ford, or somewhat ironically, their Dodge. 

So next time you find yourself needing to cross the road.  Please don’t be a moron about it.  Or do, because if you get hit because of jay-walking like this, I’m going to chalk up that one as a win for natural selection.