Plethora

So I really like the word Plethora.  I think it's an awesome word.  However, I am scared shitless of that word.

Why you ask, faithful reader?  Well don't worry, I will tell you. 

Again, I actually like the word, I think it's awesome.  It's just when I use it in a sentence, this is how I envision the scenario playing out. 

What I want to happen:
Setting: Cardinal Stritch University  -  A day or two before a big test
Friend: "Alex, do you have a highlighter I can borrow?  I want to organize my notes"
Me: "Nay friend.  I don't have A highlighter you can borrow.  I have a plethora of highlighters you can borrow"
Friend: "Golly gee wilikers (I have old school friends that don't necessarily share the same fucking potty mouth as me okay? So back the frick off, Damn) Alex, that's awesome!  My notes will now be better color coated, which will help me remember them better.  This in turn will help me do well on the test.  I'll graduate with honors, get a good job, make good money.  I'll be able to support my wife and kids, and help my mother pay for her heart surgery that won't be covered by Obamacare because it wants to kill old people (I also have some pretty Rush Limbaugh Republican friends).  Thanks!  You're the best!!"
Me: "I know friend, I know."

What I think will actually happen:
Setting: Cardinal Stritch University, a day or two before a big test
Friend: "Alex, do you have a highlighter I can borrow?  I want to organize my notes"
Me: "Nay friend, I don't have A highlighter you can borrow, I have a placenta of highlighters you can borrow!"
Friend: "Dude...that's....that's just fucked up.  (Not the same friend).  That means either 1), you had a pregnant highlighter, which gave birth and expelled a placenta and you kept it and are offering to give that to me which is just gross, or, more terrifyingly 2) Being a nursing student, you have probably shadowed a birthing unit, and when a mother gave birth, took the human placenta, hollowed it out, and now keep it as a pouch in which you store highlighters.  I don't want to know which one is correct, what I do know is I don't want to be your friend, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Me: "FUCK!"

That's right folks, I think I am going to mix up the words Plethora and Placenta in a conversation one day, and as a result, will lose friends.  It's fucked up, but it's true.